My tuesdays are not complete without a dose of "The Vampire Diaries". It has now replaced my "Supernatural" enslavement.
Friday, 30 April 2010
love sucks
There is another addiction engulfing my system.
My tuesdays are not complete without a dose of "The Vampire Diaries". It has now replaced my "Supernatural" enslavement.
My tuesdays are not complete without a dose of "The Vampire Diaries". It has now replaced my "Supernatural" enslavement.
Thursday, 29 April 2010
too late?
This will raise some eyebrows but I am a Nick Clegg fan. His policies are not that bad and of course, he looks good onstage and the camera adores him. If this is a beauty contest, Clegg wins without a doubt. On the 6th of May, major issues like immigration and national health services will be highlighted and scrutinised.
I cannot be critical about this electoral process when I'm not even registered yet to vote. SHAME ON ME!
back to basic
I was window shopping with Cecile few days ago when I spotted a 75% sale section at Paperchase. A massive SALE has a pulling power to the public and something the pragmatist in most of us would approve of. Gliding across the SALE section scrupulously, I noticed a starry notebook for 4 pounds. It was calling my name.
It was an instant liaison.
I thought, I'd start writing the ancient way.
home
I watched the Glee "Home" episode and it was rather touching. Sometimes, I think art imitates life and vice versa. Watching Kristin Chenoweth delivering an uber fine and smooth version of the song "Home" was a revelation.
The song came to life.
Each nuance, each vocal twist and turn, vulnerability of emotions and the soaring melody reminded me of home bliss and the untainted innocence of youth and now left with that affectionate longing. I seldom put a song on an iTouch repeat and this week, I imagine drowning myself with this song. Somehow, if affords me that elated spirit and clear mind. Something that I truly need right now.
I believe things do happen for a reason, like this song... like Chenoweth... like Glee.
Wednesday, 28 April 2010
part quatre
Like how most people cope, retail therapy is good. Team that up with good company, good food and a trip down memory lane and what do you get...?
... a good escape.
... a good escape.
352,000 PESOS
I am traveling soon and I need a decent, sturdy and chic luggage. I flipped through the pages of "Stylist" magazine and found the perfect piece of accessory I could use meandering across continents; perfect for world domination in style. The Hermes Aluminium "Orion" Case epitomises all that.
It is only 5030 pounds but I don't think the luggage deserves me.
to go or not to go?
I won't be surprised if my phone bill at the end of the month shoots up to the roof. I was constantly calling home directly from my mobile (I know it's stupid when you can get long distance call cards from Chinatown) since the death of my grandmother. Today, it's perfect timing to call them as they embark on a 20-hour trip to Romblon (a direct trip by ferry is scheduled).
- 13-14 hours to Odiongan
- 4 hours to San Agustin
- 2 hours to Romblon
I've tried that route before out of desperation and it was hell. Romblon is the capital town but the only way to get there is via ferry boat. You can try flying but you have to take the longer route which involves a plane, a jeepney ride and a ferry (means hours and hours of uncomfortable journey). If you are uber rich, then helicopter is the easiest option (a sea plane is a possibility as Romblon is a tiny island surrounded by water). With 21 of them braving the elements, I imagine tantrums and clashing egos. But then again, I'd rather be there than wallow in loneliness and grief abroad.
As far as I know, this is the biggest envoy of relatives traveling together for the first time. I also imagine the sons and daughters of Mayors and Governors paying my grandmother a visit. She happened to be the official dressmaker of politicians and important dignitaries during her heydays. Most of the Romblomanons will be paying their respect en masse and.....
... in a way, I felt a pang of envy and guilt. I claim to be her favorite grandson but my muddled priorities take me nowhere near my beloved Nan. I just console myself by easing contrition through blogging. It's simply not enough!
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
part trois
Still stressed and woebegone?
Thanks God for (real) friends and an eatery that's cheap and cheerful.
(Thank you Cecile)
Thanks God for (real) friends and an eatery that's cheap and cheerful.
(Thank you Cecile)
muddled senses
Since this morning, my runny nose and hyperactive lacrimal glands are the main features of my physical state (don't you hate that feeling of inability to sneeze). Today's my last day at work before I go on hibernation to help heal some knotted emotional anguish over the passing of my grandmother. Being in this state, I get more attention from those who know my present predicament. However, when they express their sympathy to me, I tend to shy away as milking it is something I abhor doing (unlike some people...).
I am very much attached to my grandmother. But just like the passing of my brother years ago, I have issues about crying. I usually tend not to, which other relatives and friends see differently. In as much as I'd like to defend my emotional fragility, I just don't bother justifying it for it is deemed pointless going through the hassle.
But today, hayfever is doing the trick. My heart is already heavy and vulnerable and symptoms of hayfever help me manifest that chaotic inner self. However, my deceased brother and now my grandmother, deserve decent physical manifestation of grief.
I know for a fact that I don't have a heart of stone and I don't need a hayfever to evince this melancholy...
SERIOUSLY!
I am very much attached to my grandmother. But just like the passing of my brother years ago, I have issues about crying. I usually tend not to, which other relatives and friends see differently. In as much as I'd like to defend my emotional fragility, I just don't bother justifying it for it is deemed pointless going through the hassle.
But today, hayfever is doing the trick. My heart is already heavy and vulnerable and symptoms of hayfever help me manifest that chaotic inner self. However, my deceased brother and now my grandmother, deserve decent physical manifestation of grief.
I know for a fact that I don't have a heart of stone and I don't need a hayfever to evince this melancholy...
SERIOUSLY!
Monday, 26 April 2010
To my Grandmother
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a 1,000 winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there; I did not die.
Anon
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Inez
Today is humid. I mean it like, Philippine humidity. It certainly brings back memories of home. True to form and to heed warning, news of home made me giddy. The person who shaped my formative years is soon to be ordained as my guardian angel from the heavens. Lola Inez is the reason why half of me lives the life that I have now and I'd surely miss her.
My parents moved to Manila when I was young. All my siblings studied in the city and I was left in Romblon trying to finish High School. It was my decision not to go due to scholastic reasons but good enough as my grandmother was there to look after me. My constant battles with my Aunties and Uncles were incontestable but Lola Inez proved to be an impenetrable shield. I have always been a Lola's boy. I must have inculcated or better yet, snapped up some of her qualities like patience and calm forbearance in moments of turmoil and worriment. With that, I am grateful for life.
Today's a bit strange. The outpour of rain eventually decided our fate this morning with the cancellation of the tennis match with Lito. It was ominous and foretelling. It was like home where the low repeated percussion on the roof echoed my childhood years in Romblon. With the forming puddles across the park, it was an enticement for the kid in me. I remember getting feverish after that seemingly eternal prancing and chanting under the rain where my grandmother stayed with me until my delirium subsided.
She said, "You're mumbling about riches and powers. You said, you'd buy me an island when you grow older", after a bout of influenza.
I feel sad every time I relive such fleeting moment. Each time I hear a forecast of humidity and rain, I'd think of my grandmother. Including my promises engraved on that shallow puddle of water.
Really, wishes are children. As I grow older, I am heavyhearted that I forget who and what they're for.
My parents moved to Manila when I was young. All my siblings studied in the city and I was left in Romblon trying to finish High School. It was my decision not to go due to scholastic reasons but good enough as my grandmother was there to look after me. My constant battles with my Aunties and Uncles were incontestable but Lola Inez proved to be an impenetrable shield. I have always been a Lola's boy. I must have inculcated or better yet, snapped up some of her qualities like patience and calm forbearance in moments of turmoil and worriment. With that, I am grateful for life.
Today's a bit strange. The outpour of rain eventually decided our fate this morning with the cancellation of the tennis match with Lito. It was ominous and foretelling. It was like home where the low repeated percussion on the roof echoed my childhood years in Romblon. With the forming puddles across the park, it was an enticement for the kid in me. I remember getting feverish after that seemingly eternal prancing and chanting under the rain where my grandmother stayed with me until my delirium subsided.
She said, "You're mumbling about riches and powers. You said, you'd buy me an island when you grow older", after a bout of influenza.
I feel sad every time I relive such fleeting moment. Each time I hear a forecast of humidity and rain, I'd think of my grandmother. Including my promises engraved on that shallow puddle of water.
Really, wishes are children. As I grow older, I am heavyhearted that I forget who and what they're for.
stuff...
"When I stood a clear mirror before you,
you gazed into me
and saw your image.
Then you said, "I love you."
But in truth you loved yourself in me."
KG - Sand and Foam
you gazed into me
and saw your image.
Then you said, "I love you."
But in truth you loved yourself in me."
KG - Sand and Foam
Saturday, 24 April 2010
ticker
I'd love to ride a carousel.
Each time I get the chance to see one, I get that riding itch. However, my companion usually gets embarrassed to join me for that ride and I end up not going at all. I guess, they think that I'd burst into singing "You'll never walk alone" whilst sat on one of those horses going up and down, as the carousel turns.
I haven't reconciled with some of my childhood memories just yet. However, when they knock on your door, they come in bucket loads enough to drown you and usually in moments you least expect it.
It seems like Carousels serve as a floodgate to glistening waters of my reticent past.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark
Each time I get the chance to see one, I get that riding itch. However, my companion usually gets embarrassed to join me for that ride and I end up not going at all. I guess, they think that I'd burst into singing "You'll never walk alone" whilst sat on one of those horses going up and down, as the carousel turns.
I haven't reconciled with some of my childhood memories just yet. However, when they knock on your door, they come in bucket loads enough to drown you and usually in moments you least expect it.
It seems like Carousels serve as a floodgate to glistening waters of my reticent past.
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark
Lovely day...
The finish line is all set for tomorrow's London Marathon.
I promise to run next year and finish it in the name of charity.
I wonder what Charitable Institution to support though...
I promise to run next year and finish it in the name of charity.
I wonder what Charitable Institution to support though...
Friday, 23 April 2010
books
I thought I'd eavesdrop and check what my co-common people are reading inside the tube as they while away the boring travel to work.
Amidst the sea of Metro reading populace, some managed to keep the international book day alive:
- girl in braids is reading "A Girl's Bestfriend"
- a smartly dressed Afro-Carribean guy reading Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo"
- an Indian woman reading "Wolf Hall"
- A woman in her fifties who's totally focused on "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald
- a 10 year old holding a "Thomas the Tank Engine" colouring book
I have had a friend who used to go around town clutching onto his pocketbook wherever he went just like Linus and his blue blanket in that comic strip, Peanuts. I bumped into him recently and that pocketbook bondage and affinity's gone. It's either he's finished reading the massive volumes of J.R.R. Tolkien's books and got tired of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter saga or he's moved on to far better things like maintaining a real sexual relationship.
When I got home, I asked my partner to recommend one of the books on display in the living room. I picked "To the Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf but he warned me, "it's not an easy english".
For the first time, I doubted myself.
Amidst the sea of Metro reading populace, some managed to keep the international book day alive:
- girl in braids is reading "A Girl's Bestfriend"
- a smartly dressed Afro-Carribean guy reading Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo"
- an Indian woman reading "Wolf Hall"
- A woman in her fifties who's totally focused on "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald
- a 10 year old holding a "Thomas the Tank Engine" colouring book
I have had a friend who used to go around town clutching onto his pocketbook wherever he went just like Linus and his blue blanket in that comic strip, Peanuts. I bumped into him recently and that pocketbook bondage and affinity's gone. It's either he's finished reading the massive volumes of J.R.R. Tolkien's books and got tired of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter saga or he's moved on to far better things like maintaining a real sexual relationship.
When I got home, I asked my partner to recommend one of the books on display in the living room. I picked "To the Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf but he warned me, "it's not an easy english".
For the first time, I doubted myself.
happy book day
At lunchtime, my colleague was raving on about the film, "Dear John". She urged me to watch it, as if I would need urging for that. Clearly, I'd find time to watch that film this coming week as I have been an avid follower of Channing Tatum, from his Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" video to "G.I. Joe..". If only stalking is a cool thing to do then I'd probably take a swing at it but...
Then my colleague opened her satchel and pulled out her packed lunch and a book. She revealed that she's read the other two Stieg Larsson books (The girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The girl who played with Fire) and now finding it hard to put down the third one, The Girl who kicked the Hornet's Nest.
It is admirable that despite having two very young daughters and a demanding job, she's able to carry on with that passion of reading books and here I am dabbling on nonsensical , either self-loathing or self-aggrandising blogging exploits. I even force myself to read textbooks (relevant to my current studies and presentations at work) but still lacking that motivation.
I'm already tired of re-reading and quoting Kahlil Gibran in most of my intellectual pretenses. It is time to bring back my addiction to "komiks". That's always a good start.
Then my colleague opened her satchel and pulled out her packed lunch and a book. She revealed that she's read the other two Stieg Larsson books (The girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The girl who played with Fire) and now finding it hard to put down the third one, The Girl who kicked the Hornet's Nest.
It is admirable that despite having two very young daughters and a demanding job, she's able to carry on with that passion of reading books and here I am dabbling on nonsensical , either self-loathing or self-aggrandising blogging exploits. I even force myself to read textbooks (relevant to my current studies and presentations at work) but still lacking that motivation.
I'm already tired of re-reading and quoting Kahlil Gibran in most of my intellectual pretenses. It is time to bring back my addiction to "komiks". That's always a good start.
Thursday, 22 April 2010
asking for it
It is now late at night and finally, the cake is ready for consumption. I have nagged Bo about this for months and tonight, he finally gave in. He said that I shouldn't take credit for this and rightly so, he deserves the adulation for this gratifying and delectable banana cake.... errr.... "Bo's Mean Banana Pie" as he trademarked it.
Do tasters (pre and post) get a fair share of recognition for the outcome of a cooking endeavor? ...and I knifed that cake to geometrical perfection.
Do tasters (pre and post) get a fair share of recognition for the outcome of a cooking endeavor? ...and I knifed that cake to geometrical perfection.
virginal
My pair of gold shoes is gathering dust. It is now nearly two years old and I still couldn't find an occasion to wear it. In the next few days, I have few events to attend where this pair may be put to good use:
- a leaving do
- a pub crawl
- a kiddie party
- a photography session in the wild with my d-slr
- spectator to London marathon
I hate being outshone by my accessories. That kids party is definitely out of the running.
- a leaving do
- a pub crawl
- a kiddie party
- a photography session in the wild with my d-slr
- spectator to London marathon
I hate being outshone by my accessories. That kids party is definitely out of the running.
RIP to the BARD
William Shakespeare's death anniversary is tomorrow (394 years).
It is interesting to know that the Bard had a vocabulary of 21,000 words, compared with the average person's 500 then and 15,000 today.
It is time to increase my vocabulary, perfect for tomorrow's "International Book Day". There are very few people that I admire when vocabulary is concerned. They can whip a word, like ketchup and mayonnaise to french fries and make it intelligible, beautifully sonorous and scrumptious. They are:
- Shivaun
- NAM
- Jessica Z.
- a colleague
I was in a meeting two weeks ago when my colleague, like summoning a Spartan to shut up, uttered the word "palaverous" in the middle of conversation. My jaw met the floor but not without a hint of smile from seeing the dumbfounded looks of our other colleagues. Drop a myriad of hifalutin words and you hear an echo of yes and uh ohs like a relenting sigh of acceptance for knowing less.
I don't know but the word "acquiescence" appeal to me at times when at work.
It is interesting to know that the Bard had a vocabulary of 21,000 words, compared with the average person's 500 then and 15,000 today.
It is time to increase my vocabulary, perfect for tomorrow's "International Book Day". There are very few people that I admire when vocabulary is concerned. They can whip a word, like ketchup and mayonnaise to french fries and make it intelligible, beautifully sonorous and scrumptious. They are:
- Shivaun
- NAM
- Jessica Z.
- a colleague
I was in a meeting two weeks ago when my colleague, like summoning a Spartan to shut up, uttered the word "palaverous" in the middle of conversation. My jaw met the floor but not without a hint of smile from seeing the dumbfounded looks of our other colleagues. Drop a myriad of hifalutin words and you hear an echo of yes and uh ohs like a relenting sigh of acceptance for knowing less.
I don't know but the word "acquiescence" appeal to me at times when at work.
productivity
If you call it productive to send over a hundred emails today and the occasional trip to the units to follow up "stuff" and answer phone calls and solve petty problems, then I must have been overly productive.
I am thankful that I had "new starters" to the Directorate today and that somehow made my morning preoccupied with teaching and routine induction.
It is nearly 5 pm and I have two options:
a. Keep on answering incoming calls until 5 pm
or
b. Let the "a.m." (answering machine) pick up the calls and go over it tomorrow
What a dilemma, right?
I am thankful that I had "new starters" to the Directorate today and that somehow made my morning preoccupied with teaching and routine induction.
It is nearly 5 pm and I have two options:
a. Keep on answering incoming calls until 5 pm
or
b. Let the "a.m." (answering machine) pick up the calls and go over it tomorrow
What a dilemma, right?
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
bitch, moi?
There's this person on facebook who remarked about friendship, "It takes years to build trust but takes seconds to break it". What a load of bollocks! I'd say that's one pathetic, dense and dopey rhetoric coming from a person who is as thick as his accent after a decade of living the UK dream and as pretentious as those wannabes who try to keep up with the Joneses.
I don't care if you have another opinion about that "sad" line regarding friendship but for me, it is a nonsensical and stupid remark, that's all. That FB shoutout is like a putrid body odour where everyone knows who pollutes the air but the culprit remains nescient and unperturbed.
I know it's not meant for me but it maddens my composure, knowing that the person who posted it is no Virgin Mary himself.
I don't care if you have another opinion about that "sad" line regarding friendship but for me, it is a nonsensical and stupid remark, that's all. That FB shoutout is like a putrid body odour where everyone knows who pollutes the air but the culprit remains nescient and unperturbed.
I know it's not meant for me but it maddens my composure, knowing that the person who posted it is no Virgin Mary himself.
buy me...buy me
I was strolling along Oxford Street savouring a "one fine day" when Imelda's (Marcos) face took that smile away. I don't hate the woman but I certainly don't like her either. HMV however has better plans today by displaying the Fatboy Slim and David Byrne collaboration showcasing the "Imelda Album sleeve".
Do they really think "Imelda" would sell millions of copies?
Do they really think "Imelda" would sell millions of copies?
on the other side
Tonight has been strange.
I was drawn into watching two film documentaries about Afghanistan.
- True stories: Afghan Star
- The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan
It was truly moving that words failed me.
I was drawn into watching two film documentaries about Afghanistan.
- True stories: Afghan Star
- The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan
It was truly moving that words failed me.
indirect nepotism
I am not proud of this but I didn't work as a staff nurse (clinically) back home. My mother becoming exasperated with my lack of drive regarding the practice of nursing, made it her own business of finding me a job. Having connections with the "powerful" people of the Senate, she was able to get me a job at Philippine General Hospital but ended up in tears as I stubbornly refused it and ran away from home. Instead, I carried on working for a magazine company.
Eventually, as an act of compromise to my parents' hard work and noble desideratum, I pursued a teaching job and ended up as Clinical Instructor for two years before finding my way to the airport. I was off to a land where dreams were rumored to be half-realised but rewarding enough to see other cultures other than my own: Kuwait.
A year and a half... and $3000 (each) to agency's pocket later, I found myself in UK.
Without a doubt, working at PGH would have moulded me into a better nurse. Strange but the film "Sliding Mirrors" springs to mind... and my mother had to do with it all.
Eventually, as an act of compromise to my parents' hard work and noble desideratum, I pursued a teaching job and ended up as Clinical Instructor for two years before finding my way to the airport. I was off to a land where dreams were rumored to be half-realised but rewarding enough to see other cultures other than my own: Kuwait.
A year and a half... and $3000 (each) to agency's pocket later, I found myself in UK.
Without a doubt, working at PGH would have moulded me into a better nurse. Strange but the film "Sliding Mirrors" springs to mind... and my mother had to do with it all.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
past... good past
My family sent me these documents; just few of the documents saved from fire.
I'm overjoyed.
I'm happy as a lark.
I'm overjoyed.
I'm happy as a lark.
something new
Reading today's free paper is always a bonus. In almost everything you do these days, a penny or more is shelled out. But then again, if you really think hard about it, London has the highest public transport tariff in Europe (or the world, I think) and that's probably where the funding for this paper is coming from.
So back to this paper, one migraine sufferer developed a Chinese accent after an excruciating attack left her brain damaged. Apparently, only one of just 20 diagnosed cases in the world develop into a "Foreign Accent Syndrome" after a sporadic hemiphlegic migraine. This type of migraine causes blood vessels in the brain to expand, resulting in stroke-like symptoms during and after its debilitating attack. It affects the linguistic functions and motor skills, hence the effect on forming and speaking words.
I wonder if you get french and Irish accent out of it. Shameful but I find these accents sexy.
So back to this paper, one migraine sufferer developed a Chinese accent after an excruciating attack left her brain damaged. Apparently, only one of just 20 diagnosed cases in the world develop into a "Foreign Accent Syndrome" after a sporadic hemiphlegic migraine. This type of migraine causes blood vessels in the brain to expand, resulting in stroke-like symptoms during and after its debilitating attack. It affects the linguistic functions and motor skills, hence the effect on forming and speaking words.
I wonder if you get french and Irish accent out of it. Shameful but I find these accents sexy.
Simply, Lea
My blog is littered with youtube entries.
However, I just can't help but post this one.
Isn't she just wonderfully amazing?
However, I just can't help but post this one.
Isn't she just wonderfully amazing?
Monday, 19 April 2010
food... glorious food!
Eating rice has finally got to me.
My palate is looking for something with a different texture.
The ARK
The modern day ARK to the rescue!
Gordon Brown sent HMS Ark Royal to rescue stranded Brits abroad. Quite apt, don't you think?
Gordon Brown sent HMS Ark Royal to rescue stranded Brits abroad. Quite apt, don't you think?
quieter skies
Britain has approximately lost £200 million during this period of travel chaos caused by volcanic ash. Some schools are closed because teachers on holiday from an Easter break are still stranded abroad. Some of my colleagues get folding beds at the airports they're in as hotels are full to the brim. In their absence, big bosses are scrambling to cover staff in some units/wards so as not to compromise patient safety with low staffing level.
This event is humbling.
As businesses take the beating from this natural inconvenience, Mother Earth is breathing natural bits of tephra but must be deeply gratified by this adversity. If you closely look at it, there is an inverse proportion between the relationship of healthy living and scientific advancement. We may say that science makes our lives easier but consequently, we become complacent and sedentary. Isn't life expectancy in the past millennia longer than what we have now?
Our dependence is now fully exposed and vulnerability, at risk.
best... best... best
I have chosen the right place to spend my waking hours and the prime time of my life. Guy's and St. Thomas' topped the survey yet again as published by the Nursing Standard.
(CLICK on the doc TO ZOOM)
(CLICK on the doc TO ZOOM)
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