Walay-fi

Ok. There's wifi inside the malls.

But it's so slow that it'd take you a lifetime and a half to connect and upload pics. I guess I have to be grateful, havent I?

Sun-nay

The taxi took an hour and a half to get to Greenbelt, Makati from SM Fairview. I actually expected the worst traffic today but was disproved royally. The imprint in my mind about traffic congestion in Manila shouldn't be really taken seriously. It's not just people that change... The landscape changes too to better life and living condition. We got off at Greenbelt 3 where the designer shops are and walked along the mini park with nature and concrete materials homogenise perfectly as one. Gytis and I somehow cocluded that the element of natural environment can augment the beauty of steel and man-made blocks of cement. We finally reached Starbucks and ordered our drinks. I chose the usual... Chai tea latte and was asked, "hot or cold Sir?". I said "cold" with a smile.

The air-conditioned coffee shop was enticing but Gytis preferred the sun-drenched outside seating area. I mumbled light profanity in protestations and hid under the shades of fixed awnings adjacent to the shop. "Go tan yourself" he said and I hissed back saying "No thank you very much. I have spent enough pennies for Likas Papaya soaps in the past 7 years". So yes, I don't like Manila in summer and hate the sunshine that's adored by the Americans and Europeans. My temper is appalling when I get sweaty and warm.

I sense the humidity rising as I couldn't breathe easily. It's suffocating and I guess I can leave Gytis on his own sun-baking himself as he reads the latest GQ mag. I'm off to explore the well lit vestibules where aircon is fully functional. It relaxes me which is exactly what I aim to do this holiday.

Sigh

IPad is the most inconvenient gadget I have ever used in keeping my routine afloat.

I have a lot of stories to tell so....

Keep posted.

AAB/CMIII

Right..... Where do I start?

By now, I have tonnes of photos to upload and that's it.... just contemplating on uploading it. No matter how much motivation and energy that I have to post cheesy and envy-inducing pics, my iPad2 just wouldn't let me. I know, I should have moved on from this minor glitch but this device being lauded as all-you-need-in-all-your-waking-moments makes it a major mockery of my mediocre social existence.

But yea... Enough of iPad talks. This holiday is an eye-opener. For the first time (and the many firsts before this claim), I know what I want in a relationship and the direction I'd steer it towards. Mortality is a dramatic premise in knowing the ultimate ending of existence but acknowledging that I'm not getting younger means just as good as to knowing the right options without compromising my own happiness. In short, I'm happy and I want to write something new in this new chapter. I hope this is the conclusive part.

I'm typing this because this is how I really feel right now.

No pretense.

Firsts

I had few firsts this holiday so far.

- boat trip to Taal volcano
- spoke English most of the time (Gytis-induced)
- and a v v v v good surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (watch this revelation when I'm back)

Damn this iPad2.

Pictures would have said it all in colour and vivacity.

How's Phil?

Phil is alright.

As usual, he is serotonin- inducing where anger/rage is concerned. His heat is just enough to fry you alive but in a slow excruciating way. I don't know if that's possible but that's exactly how one would feel.

I love Phil but just because he looks after my family. But I'm glad to be away from him most of the time choosing the more well-rounded Londra as home. Personally, I think Phil is good...truly good in small doses.

I stick by this judgment.

Diss

OK. This iPad2 is an iPhone4 X 6 in size. I was hoping this gadget would be different in uploading pictures for this blog but I was disappointed. Again, refer back to the 2nd statement.

But for your information, I took a photo of the veranda where I love spending lazy moments of the day but just like iPhone4, the application wasn't available. So I guess I have to content myself with words and more words in blogging my thoughts away these coming weeks. All along, I thought iPad2 would be better enough to make travel a lot easier and light.

I promise to upload the "veranda of reflection" as soon as another tech comes along and "wow" me in this regard.

I miss my Mac.

In bullet

- It is v v v late here but I'm still wide awake - 2:44 AM
- Gytis and I arrived Manila in this humid and v v v hot PM
- He said he couldn't breathe and advised him that he'd get used to it
- My effort of carrying two burdensome luggages (two checked in bags) paid off
- I made a lot of family members happy
- It was a good feeling to see and hug them for the first time this year
- I answered a worrying UK text and dumbfounded to know how a seemingly good friend could weave elaborate tales of deception
- This heightened emotion has woken me up even more
- Gelo and Gytis were fun company all night
- I'm grateful for this IPAD2 my brother loaned me to use whilst on holiday
- I'm grateful to this coping but attenuated signal of home wifi as I access it on the second floor
- I'd be glad to hit my head with a rock to render me unconscious and get some decent sleep.

Goodnite.... Errr.... Good morning.

Let me start counting pink-painted sheeps to lull me to sleep..

family

Travel is connection, be it traversing mountains and seas to or away from home.

I once wrote years ago..."The people that matter to you the most in life's sanity breaking moment could be the antidote that delivers the most potent cure for insecurity". I am excited as ever to see my family despite my protestations in the past and my adopted/adapted individuality and independence from them. For many years, I have lived my life away from direct and indirect auspices of my family hence that sense of I-can-do-it-alone-thank-you-very-much. It seems however that I need them more than the last time I was having a major bicker with my mother.

But as they say, blood is thicker than water.

I love them.

travel

I hate being in a confined space like flying for hours and hours but I love being inside airport terminals where I'm surrounded by the international community and tax-free shops. Such ambivalence is overpowering that travel takes over my passion's passion in terms of lifetime goals and achievements. For most common people, to own houses in two continents is their biggest accomplishment. Some would rather have savings to afford the whole family a decent living condition for the rest of their lives. Quite a few get high with their innumerable Pradas and Guccis and D&Gs and LVs stacked in the closet to mark that sense of elitist stature. Then you have some who take pride in seeing the world not just through the lens of their DSLR Canons and Nikons but having that sensibility of imbibing culture through understanding and affinity.



I'm a hypocrite to say that I don't take photos of my travel for I REALLY DO. But I take time; I pause. And when I do, I feel that shiver and thrill in seeing something new. When a new place fails to enthrall me, I stop then I take few steps back. Then I see what I haven't seen the first time I gazed at it. Failure to see and feel means it's time to sit down and take an even longer pause. I order coffee and allow the hours to lazily pass me by as I make rubbernecking a pleasurable social business.

Tomorrow, I am going home.

But it feels like the first time, just like the last.

all my bags...

... are packed, I'm ready to go...

who you callin' fat?????

Serena Williams has been out of action of tennis for nearly a year due to injury. She tweeted this pic recently and I suggest to the women of WTA to be afraid... be very afraid. She is coming back to re-claim her throne, sceptre and crown. Women's tennis these past months was lacking the grit, consistency and drama and more drama. Thanks God, Serena and Venus are back.

I'm not a Serena fan but I'm certainly rooting for her older sister, Venus. I wonder if she's just as ripped as her younger sister just like below ....

overrrrrr

I said I'd travel light but by the looks of it, I'd go over the limit.

If push comes to shove, I'd be in trouble. Prioritisation is not part of my vocabulary and certainly not part of my practical sense of living. I wonder what gets slashed from the pressies I'd be taking home with me.

the meaning of "cool yourself"

I was watching telly and came across a program about brawling, picketing and general social unrest. One of the theories mentioned in that program is the emergence of high levels of serotonin secreted during warm weather conditions. This compliments heightened emotions that could lead to anti-social behaviour. With the help of my friend wiki, I found out that serotonin is responsible for mood changes. Now it makes sense.

I know that Bo gets highly irritable when he starts sweating from extreme heat. I get agitated during summer and my temper is appalling when taking the tube and buses during London's heat-wave. You'd argue that Summer, Pimms and sunbathing are fun combination but you'd agree with me that a cooler weather is numbing to the senses to the point of quieting one's repose. With fully awakened senses, it's easy to incite and excite inducements to amplified reflexes and therefore, harbouring the opposite spectrum of fun, happiness and bliss.

That's all.

yeah, lose the best workforce you've got!

she - born to write

Shivaun and I met up for dinner. We went to Wagamama and I was my usual nibbling self: Green tea and Chicken Katsu Curry. Shivaun was in her unusual spirit. I should have sensed the gritty banter coming.

We went to H&M and she bought a white-trimmed semi-aviator shades. "Is that for yourself?" I asked. She said, "Mine" casually. "Try it on, I wanna see it", I retorted and was answered by "I don't need your opinion, Ryan". I'm sure she's not a CAT PERSON but MEOW!

If you are a reader of my blog, you probably know by now that Shivaun is a talented writer (check the above photo - one of her old published articles). I deduce that to be a writer, you need to have good grasp of that written language and that je ne sais quoi in personality. With Shivaun however, what impresses me more is the fact that we've gotten over the pleasantries to keep friendship in check. I like it that we speak our minds without having to feel judged for being what we are individually.

I'm sure her dry sense of humour's an amalgamation of years of being married to a Brit, years of battling the talentless twits whilst at paid servitude and years of struggle of finding people who'd understand her lingo.

I also deduce that being talented (real talent) means a rarity these days.

gaunt

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a haggard man staring back at me. I've only been sleeping 4-6 hours a day this past week solely caused by holiday anticipation. Actually, that's half the truth of the real thing. I am... at the moment, trying to lose weight.

I couldn't bring myself to the idea of flashing my blubber on the beach. It'd ruin the nice view, new swim-shorts and my friends' appetite. Let's see how it turns out in a week's time. For plan B, there's always a sleeveless top to put on and help create the illusion that I made an effort to keep myself fit.

perfect

how to shame iPhone4

Strange.

Strange but this is the first time I've seen a man with a VERTU phone inside public transport. Vertu phone costs thousands of pounds/dollars a unit ($30,000) and boasts a concierge service with it. Then the man started talking in Arabic so I stopped questioning the idea of him owning such a show-off phone.

He's obviously not your typical Monday-to-Friday-working-class-who-toil-to-make-a-living-kind-of-guy. He probably owns barrels upon barrels of petroleum in the Middle East and his Ferrari must be parked somewhere along Bond Street. He must have woken up today feeling inspired by Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday and explored the city alongside the common people.

My iPhone4 suddenly feels insecure.

crisis

I hear HMV's struggling in this economic climate. In the age of downloads and mp3/4 formats, CDs are going to be extinct. As predicted, CDs and DVDs are more than half-price and I wouldn't say NO to a V V V V good bargain. If you see an 18-pound CD down to 3, wouldn't you buy it?

GO AND CHECK OUT THE BARGAINS!

tats

Gelo: Can I have a sleeve tattoo?

Me: Hmmm. What will you get for having such monstrosity on your arm?

Gelo: It's pretty.

Me: I can't change your mind, can I?

Gelo: Well, you love tattoos right?

Me: Actually I do but let's compromise with a half-sleeve tattoo. How's that...

Gelo: OK.

The first thing he did when he got back home (Philippines) was...

THIS (and it's pretty)!!!!

9 hours of continuous pain was obviously worth it.

jolly-me

"I'm energy-zapped" I exclaimed. My colleague said, "Normal. You're just uber excited about your holiday". Rightly so!

Strange but this is one of the holidays where I feel totally psyched and overwrought with nerves at the same time. I don't have enough moolah to take home but something's telling me that I'd be alright. I'm happy to just cruise those three weeks with decent and relatively cheap gimmicks. I'm glad my sisters and brother are Manila-smart that they know where to go for bargains and reasonable pleasure trips (?????).

I sincerely promise to learn my lessons from previous holidays where I spent loads of money on stupid purchases and irrational expenditures. This time I'd think twice and weigh circumstances before acting on something that would mean money draining out of my pocket. It would mean, my family and friends would have to bear with the remote "Ilocano" in me. I'd like to say Chinese but I'm far from looking like one.

So my plea is... Let's spend money wisely. I'm happy to take you all to Jollibee any day any time.

That's all.

3

Three days seem like a 365 days.

The waiting and anticipation is killing me.

I just want to be home NOW.

bald and proud

I have mentioned this before and will mention it again... I have moved on from the insecurity phase of being bald. I'm now in a happy place where my bald head is concerned. GEDDIT?




Now, some of my hats/caps need fresh balding heads laden with insecurity to keep them shielded and guarded until they're ready to face the less perfect world out there... or just to keep them safe from sun's glare. I'm giving most of them away and I hope they serve their purpose the way they served me well.

whooooooooa

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M WATCHING A PROGRAM ON MORE4 -TRUE STORIES: BEST UNDRESSED.

A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT MISS NUDE AUSTRALIA.

THE PROGRAM SHOWS FULL FRONTAL NUDITY AND I'M DEFINITELY TUNING IN.

I'M GAY BUT THIS IS TOTALLY INTERESTING.

THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO KILL TIME.

... AND KILL SENSITIVITY.

winning is not just....

... about pride, respect and honour.

It is also about MONEY and more MONEY from endorsements.


NIKE WINDOW @ Oxford Street

get me outta 'ere

- went to University
- told my seat-mate to slap me as I was falling asleep
- had banana and tea for lunch
- got hungry at 3 pm
- ate massive lunch (mung beans with shrimp and rice)
- did some shopping (H&M glasses on SALE!)
- and more shopping
- promised to eat less dinner
- broke that promise with a take-away (chicken and chips)
- promised to exercise X 2
- realised that I have no blog entry today
- tempted not to flex a muscle
- my mind's gone frolicking to the Far East
- my body's stuck indoors watching shitty telly program
- theory of relativity is shite!
- I wanna go... go... go...

ha!

Aniston - Rumor Has It

Telly viewing can be a drag at times but I have acquired this penchant for Aniston (Jennifer) so watching RUMOR HAS IT was a bit enjoyable (I'm lying - I enjoyed it immensely). How can you not love this sweet-faced angel for saying these lines...

I didn't say I can't live without you...
because I can live without you...
...but I don't want to.

I have such a delicate, impuissant and emotive elan vital.

you've been warned

roadside

I decided to go back to H&M to buy some shades as presents for my cousins back home. The shop was already closed and I was well peeved. Walking home laden with disappointment, I passed by this floral growth. I felt better.

guess how much

I fell in love with this when I first saw it and even more when I found out its price.

Hold your breath: 4.99 pounds!

It is the yellow trim around the specs that sold it for me.

more Nadal

apt

www.tennis.com HEADLINE!

Spanish day

Gytis and I did some shopping at Oxford Street. I could sense that excitement from him; something I played down a bit deep within me. In fact, I'm just as excited as him. I decided to go out for the sole purpose of not stressing myself too much from watching the FINALS live in the comfort of my living room.

...but I was there point by point via IBM Slam-Tracker.

...and the recorder's all set for viewing with less expectation.

As Nadal was serving for the match, Gytis and I passed by Regent Street and realised that today's ESPANA day. The organisers have closed the whole street for the occasion and I thought of it as a SIGN. Without a doubt, I knew right there and then that at the fourth set's where it would perfectly end. Gytis was saying, "If Nadal wins, you owe me coffee" and I replied, "You can have the largest coffee mug, fill it up with coffee and pay for it yourself". I have extreme confidence in Nadal winning this tourney and I need not gamble such inevitability. He said, "You still owe me coffee for being temperamental all day... watching that Nadal of yours every second and every minute for the past few hours ... and for being touchy!".

With that reasoning, I certainly owe him coffee. Finally, Rafael Nadal wins his 6th French Open tying Bjorn Borg. Just because I'm elated, Gytis can have all the different coffee preparation he likes and I'm happy to oblige paying for his mugs.

anticipation

Fingers-crossed, I hope Nadal bags his 6th French Open crown.

ANXIETY IS GOING TO KILL ME!

far away

new French Open Champ

So Na Li wins the F.O. but two things stand out: Na is the first Chinese player to win a GrandSlam and I wonder how it feels to give your native country that PRIDE and JOY in achieving a major sporting feat.

Would I ever get the chance to represent my country?

PERHAPS NOT!

great company

noooo.... not the Halo-halo but Tess obscured by the colourful dessert and of course, Gelo.

familia

I am virtually home.

It's just a week before I head back home for some good ol' family bonding. However, I could imagine my mother giving me a mouthful of lecture about family virtues for not giving 100% of my time with them as I have Gytis and Gelo hanging out with me throughout this holiday. This is not to discount the fact that I would need my "me" time and my "other friends" time as well. I promise however to get my family involved in more ways possible.

Gelo and family just vanished inside immigration of Heathrow Terminal 4. I could see the dynamism of Ballesteros-Bernal family and it makes me think of my own. I realised two major things: I have been away from home that the kind of sentimentality about family as a unit is somewhat in disarray from my perception and the innate feeling of belongingness is truly.. inherently intrinsic; something one's laden for life. The latter is something I rely upon in fostering harmony with the Marquez-Mayor clan every single time I cross thousands of miles to be with them.

Being less selfish and self absorbed, you can see that all around you inside heathrow. Family is an unforced affinity that counters barriers of any magnitude. You probably don't need a lecture about this. You know it already deep down.

happy bday Nadal

May you keep on winning.

a week tomorrow

My excitement is not covert in any way.
Deep inside, I hear the banshee screaming... chanting home! home! home!
I'm excited.

So here's HALO-HALO as a sweet prelude to that.

olympus pen pl-1

top 4 in top 4

Asia personified

YOU GO GIRL!

Li Na's through to the final of French Open
Two grand-slam finals in a row this year
A major feat and record for someone of Asian origin

vintage look

good reviews
actually, very good reviews
good quality pictures
light and less hassle to use than DSLR
less pretentious
and most of all, VINTAGE LOOKING

classy!

HAPPY=LOSING WEIGHT

My yearly resus teaching assessment is up and has to be done today. I have few reservations about this. It's either I get too cocky and be less mindful of the specifics or be a nervous wreck and botch the required routine. Teaching In-Hospital Resuscitation is a prescribed teaching session that you can only inject humour and personality in certain regulated doses. If you're a weak character, it'll unravel without much ado and help from personality re-adjustment.

What I mean to say is... If you're boring and didactic, you're probably productive but would appear programmed, mechanical and yawn-inducing as a facilitator. In my experience, I haven't seen a resus officer who is as dull as the bread knife to carving steak or as stiff as the joint of an arthritic man. They always have personality.

Few hours later.....

I survived the day. I passed my yearly assessment and I'm glad to reap glowing comments. I need to gloat about it. Why? It is because this personality of mine gets repressed ad suppressed (whatever mind-set gets into my vault of defense mechanisms first) in social interaction and only my blog gets the honesty out of me. I brag because I know that the safety net from blogging is bigger, sturdier and wider than my ego that it'd support me if I fall.

Don't judge me harshly if I quote the resus officer for saying, "It's been a pleasure working with you Ryan. You've done very well". So there, I'm licensed to teach resus yet again for another year. I'm bold and boastful and I don't care if you think less of me. I'm happy that I am happy and when I am, I lose weight.

NOW BACK TO LOSING WEIGHT! LET'S EAT SUSHI.

if you can't watch it live part deux

... just follow the IBM Slam-tracker using your smartphone until you crash onto the lamp-post.

Not NADA

SPOT ON!!!!

if you can't watch it live....

... just follow the IBM slam-tracker.

meet Gehrie and Keith

Gehrie - "Ryan, do people really hate me? I don't understand why I don't get an invite to Filipino parties at work...".

Keith - "Seriously Ryan, I'm so not going to date a gay black man".

I love them both. They're my V V good friends that I seldom see but when we get to hang out together, it's like .... earth shattering moment!

health and safety

I teach Health and safety in this country but obviously, this is not necessarily true and of importance back home. I remember riding the JEEPNEY with my cousins and siblings sitting on vehicle's roof for a good hour and a half.

It's so scary that it's so much fun.