the MAN in me

OK.

Let me gloat and brag about this: I assembled the BED on my own with very little help (from Crixie). I follow directions very well and my "pick up" on written instructions is better than I thought. Gelo and I are meant to be asking for Tony's (AJ hubby) help but why NOT do it myself, right? So I read the details, assembled, screwed parts, pushed and pulled and voila.... a BED.

Let me reflect on this. There is a leader in me. I had led some people when I was young but there's no outright satisfaction there. I became a manager of a Dialysis Unit and hated every second of it. I just couldn't say NO. All I said was ... "Let's see if I could find a way to accommodate this request". Yes, there was temporary harmony but it's human nature to be dissatisfied. There's always something people want and pressure mounted to the hilt that I finally said NO to that responsibility. Instead, I focused on teaching and found my niche.

It's like DIY-ing the bed. I learn fast and share that learning to another to get the job done well. You'd say that there's an amount of leadership there and I'd say YES. But what really matters to me is the process in between DECISION BEING MADE and HOW THINGS ARE EXECUTED. We already have a lot of leaders in this world but we have less people bridging the gap if not encompassing the totality of a process.

Sigh.

I need to go out. I think too much.

balance

My father is going for an operation this Friday. He's been through a lot these past years and in as much as I'd love to be there, I could only hope and pray that he's going to be OK. I've never been comfortable posting this kind of "stuff" on FB so I thought blogging would ease it out even for a little bit... that anxiety and longing I feel about this whole situation.

His diagnosis: Retinal Detachment.

"Retinal detachment is a disorder of the eye in which the retina peels away from its underlying layer of support tissue. Initial detachment may be localized, but without rapid treatment the entire retina may detach, leading to vision loss and blindness. It is a medical emergency". WIKI.

I firmly believe that there's no such thing as absolute happiness.

brekkie, anyone?

I don't start my new job until the 12th of December. While I busy myself vacuuming and cleaning the house, I also make sure we get a decent breakfast everyday before normality takes over our very own lives in the weeks to come. I am loving this married life and most of all, being together at last for good has its perks. The latter really makes a big difference.

Although I still have fears (like most of us, I guess about the unknown), I feel that tangible bliss. Peace of mind is hard to come by but it's not as elusive you think it is.

re-titled: Bella's pregnancy

MY hubby and I watched this crazed film about werewolves, vampires and this not-so-pretty girl who's lovingly stuck in a tug of war between these elements of darkness (or in this age, dark protagonists). It's called Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 1. I blame myself for coming into the cinema with such a high expectation of the film. Who wouldn't? This film amassed millions and more in the box-office these past years and you would expect that money would be able to buy good film adaptation. So yet again, it's true that money isn't everything. It won't be able to buy a package of neuronal stimulation except titillation... and of course, publicity.

Two things I'd remember from this film: the Filipino style of directing and the looooooongest hybrid pregnancy where the child's meant to be born just after weeks of conception. I say Filipino style for the reason that I couldn't count the number of times the camera pans across the main characters' faces for a very very long time as if I'm meant to appreciate the foundation they've slapped on to their faces and to emphasise that to be a Hollywood actor, you have to look good even in extreme close-up. Secondly, this film's about Bella and her amazing sado-masochistic sex with the vampire, getting pregnant and her battle to preserve humanity to her last breath. The latter's impressive.

... but it's long overdrawn and annoyingly stretched. Mr. Fantastic (Fantastic Four) comes to mind.

PS - We watched the film with AJ and Crixie.

lesson ONE

IGNORANCE

biggie

Everyone has their own definition of "big deal". For me, this one below IS big deal. I have always dreamed of driving a car someday and I'm glad, steps are now being taken to realise that dream. For some, driving at my age would be daunting but I find this exhilarating. I couldn't wait to be behind the steering wheel and drive to freedom.

I imagine this to be liberating.

Theory done... Practical next

So there... I went to my Driving Theory Test and half an hour later, I PASSED! A day of studying helped and common sense really made a major part in answering most of the questions. Still, in a 50-item set of questions they expect you to answer 88% correctly or you fail. In both Hazard Perception and Multiple Choice Tests, I scored beyond my expectation. I'm quite pleased.

Didn't I tell you I have a very good record re: exams?!

underestimation

What is Theory Test anyway.... just a bunch of common sense questions, a ten year old could answer without difficulty. I WAS WRONG. So here I am panicking slightly for I have left it too late and too short a time to study for tomorrow's test. But I am soldiering on. Truthfully, I'd let you mock me if I don't pass this test for I know I could do better. I should have channelled that challenge posed by those who drive for years and haven't even passed their theory and practical tests yet.

But I have a good record re: exams.

I'm optimistic about my chances.

marriage starts

I entertained friends last night. We had wine, almonds nuts, cooked "Bicol Express" from scratch, played classical FM and Buble's Christmas album, Krispy Kreme for dessert and X-Factor UK to top it all. We bade them good-bye at 10 p.m. and we went to bed. The alarm went off at 06:30 today and made my hubby coffee as he readied himself for work. His shirt was crumpled so I volunteered to iron it for him. He told me to wash clothes and cook chicken for dinner later.

We looked at each other and I laughed. He asked me why and I said... "Is this marriage bliss?". He said, "Yes, the best part!".

all I want for christmas is...

YOU.

delaying...

I GOT DISTRACTED BY FRIENDS AS I WAS LURED TO VISIT MORE HOME STORES ACROSS NORWICH. THE BOOKS WILL HAVE TO WAIT. I NEED MOTIVATION.

country home

Yey.

two days...

I have 2 days... yes, two days to read these books.

Wish me luck!

domestic-ism

Shivaun called me a "poster boy" of fun. I got called all sorts before like "social butterfly" and "here-comes-the-bitch-who'd-steal-the-pretty-young-things-teaser-of-a-man". But I prefer Shiv's term over other tagged names for the latter's inaccurate and SO EARLY 2000's. Since then, I have mellowed and followed my heart over the seemingly obvious dominance of my mind (arrogant, right?). But yeah, I know the logic and repercussions of certain actions but I am a sucker for love.

So I got married twice. The second and the present man in my life is the ONE; I feel that. In the process of immersing myself into domesticity, I'm learning the ropes of garbage disposal, gas and water readings, spotting a "home-stuff" bargain and the likes. I don't know about you my dear readers, but I feel pleasure vacuuming the carpet and then listening to the new Michael Buble Christmas album in the comfort of the living room this Saturday night.

I miss my London friends. Now that's an understatement but I'm in a happy place. I'd be glad to show y'all around Norwich if you'd let me. COME VISIT!

finally....

We finally found our colour-scheme-breaking appliance for our kitchen. It's not bank-breaking, bank-busting and it's definitely not techie but this baby fits in well in the kitchen department and there, she's QUEEN.

I am indebted to a microwave. It has saved my life a million times hence the ordain of ruling the planet food-processing... day in, day out.

this will take time...

... getting used to.

I know recycling is good for the planet but this is something new to me... well, not really new but to segregate food waste and secure it well, wash the used bottles before chucking it out to the select bin and flattening cartons nicely so the bin collectors wouldn't ignore and leave it... are things that require discipline. It's actually a refreshing idea that I wish everybody does this without fail.

I'm truly impressed.

To prove a point...

This is a massive boneless joint of pork.

For how much??????

2.99 sterling pounds.

Not sterling anymore, is it?

Recession however, is vicious.

Let's food shop in Norwich.

thanks Cunelva

Cunelva dedicated a vid for me to emulate.... See HERE!

Allow me try those moves....

Here's one massive OMG!

Beyonce - Dance for you from incommun on Vimeo.

good morning Norwich...

speeding past the dream...

I was young then (don't laugh...) when I used to ignore time difference just to watch live telecast of gymnastics and swimming and tennis and volleyball and athletics and.... the rest of sports, really. Olympics is tradition. When London won the bid years ago, I was one of the millions deeply overjoyed by the fact that I'd get the chance to see it happening right before my eyes. Later, tickets were greedily hoarded and I lost hope grabbing one. My friend Lito volunteered his two-week leave to support the medical team during the GAMES but was relegated to archery. He's not 100% happy but involvement is good enough. I could imagine his face if it's tennis he's got to volunteer for though.

But I digress.

Today, I sped fast the Olympic site as I left London for good.

me loves some Shivaun too!

Here's Shivaun and the other side some people
don't know...
don't see...
don't care about...

but I do.

GO READ HERE!

me loves some gifts

Tess' clear vase and scented candle...


Will's cushions...


GSTT's iPod, iPhone, USB, memory card speaker with radio and alarm clock...

sad day but OPTIMISM is my middle name

So Nadal's kicked out of the race re: the year-ending Championship in London....

Big deal (uttered with nonchalance and a pout).

final "GIFT"

I have such a long story to tell about gift-giving but for now, allow me to be grateful.

THANK YOU.

Final "DO"

bear with me... let's have it in pictures first...

I'M SPEECHLESS THESE DAYS.

MY EMOTION'S ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I HAVEN'T CRIED UNTIL THIS MORNING.

I NEEDED THAT, I GUESS.

If only

.... I have my laptop with me then I could have shown you the gift I got from them. Before sundown, a lot of things happened. But I guess there's another day to unleash deep scrutiny of today's proceedings. How I feel right now is an important matter but I need a neutral ground to effect reflection. All I feel right now is this throbbing headache and a bloated tummy from "conversion reaction" to something I am yet to decipher and understand.

Stress is less inciting to make me cry

It's a special day. But being special has its consequences. I'm uber tired from today's non-stop barrage of motor and sensory stimulations.

- Handed over everything to Amber
- Did my last teaching stint at King's
- Final "leaving do" in the hospital
- Received a gift from the directorate
- Did final errands

But the less elusive tears didn't fall.

g'bye Covent Garden

Merry Christmas y'all!

the next time...

... I board the train from this station would be the moment I'm officially an ex-Londoner. The train after that would mean ... "I'm just visiting London". There is PRIDE about being a Londoner. My friends from other UK Cities may argue this with sheer intensity but no matter how words try to deface and defame HER, they know deep inside their hearts that SHE doesn't need opinions; that SHE knows she's the mother of all learning civilisations and that SHE reared countries to their success.

When I get my driving licence, I envision myself driving towards M25 retracing my steps back into Londontown. I'd sit in one of those cafes facing the mob, stare in the midst of flocking human bodies and say... "Here I am again so let me drink your brand of coffee".

meet Linda

She's always wanted to take me out for a drink or meal these past weeks. When she found out I'm leaving, she harassed me to arrange a date with her for a good catch-up. Today, she texted me a million times (the same message saying .... "I'm here waiting downstairs... hurry!") and I found that funny. She's not changed over the years; still domineering and articulate without fear.

I've known her for YEARSSSSSS. She was there when I had my first boyfriend in London. She's one of the best dietitians in the country (I'm saying that because I THINK THAT) and I remember using her expertise years ago to calculate my calories for me when I went mad about dieting at one point. She obviously gave me sound advise but never really lost the unwanted kilos. This was because of her voracious eating habit that influenced me in one way or another.

So, the unofficial 4th "leaving-do" happened today and I was glad we found time to sit down and relax and ... visit nostalgia with passion and longing.

Thanks Shivaun and Anthony!!!!!

leaving DO part 3

So Shivaun gathered the troop and just invited me to an evening about RYAN and RYAN alone. I felt special. I have many friends here in London but there are very few who really make an effort to make me feel that I belong. I may be lacking in follow-up and consistency with some of them but they have the personality to understand and maintain their personal integrity. They're solid enough as people that their independence and higher mental mindset are worth admiring. They are not as "clique" as most Filipinos and I'm glad that they are THAT.

We devoured as many sushis and other Japanese delicacies. I dabbed ALL those little seaweed-wrapped stuff into THAT teeny-weeny bowl of soy sauce and wasabi. It was expectedly HOT HOT HOT but that's just a momentary distraction to the pain I feel about leaving London.. leaving them.

completes the collection... (winter apparel)

Above is the sheepskin jacket I received as a present.

It

is

just

lovely!!!

filler

I thought I'd share this.

years ago...

I got out of Oxford Street Tube Station last night from Liverpool Train Station and a whiff of nostalgia hit me. Nearly a decade ago, I used to live in the same Nurse's accomodation along Foley Street. This is a good 8-10 minute walk to the center of shopping and buzz (Oxford and Regent Streets). When I felt lonely then, all I had to do was drag myself to the busy streets and distraction played its role beautifully.

I finally gave up the flat in Angel and since I have less than a week of work commitments to do, I decided to squat at Tess' abode for few days. Below is the view from her room.



I'm glad I don't have dementia yet. I'm still able to savour memories of John Astor House and its perks. All I can say is ... I have evolved into this creature, far cry from the manic-depressive, social butterfly I was once to a sensible, stability-seeking man. I'd like to believe that I am THAT now. Please don't argue with me.

Going home ... Errr... Away from home

It's monday night and I'm just on my way to London. I'd get there just before 11 pm and poor Tess, she has to put up with me for few days until I finish my last working day  in town (Friday midday). I don't even have to promise to cry on the last day because I feel it's coming like double incontinence. I have to remind myself to drink more water just in case. 

The flat is looking livable already and almost all the amenities are in place except for one final thing: THE bed. We decided to buy it last because we know it has to be über fine if not perfect. We all spend most of our quality time recharging ourselves in bed so a decent mattress and bed frame are strict must haves. If there's one person who would find this a seemingly new experience... it would be Gelo. He doesn't have to do nights and our place is a five-minute walk from work. He doesn't have to set his alarm way too early and rush to work braving the elements when driving. 

I am glad.... Truly glad. 

Now that my Norwich home is sorted out, all I have to do is work the remaining few days in my previous contract and attend the surprise "leaving-dos". I'm good at evoking my "surprise" look (imagine the HORROR if the expected DO doesn't happen!!!!) but I'm certain that my tears wouldn't be that of crocodile's. 

First up is the one being arranged by Shivs. I look forward to that because this group is unique. That descriptor is not to be taken lightly. It means deeper than what a dictionary defines it. While I peruse and exhaust word possibilities to explain the concept, I'd say this get-together is going to be one for stacking in my "special memory" vault for years to come. The second one is the surprise party. This is the work-do where my colleagues from the directorate would prepare a sumptuous feast (mostly Filipino dishes plus some African and Continental cuisine thrown in) to celebrate my departure. I hope they are celebrating with a heavy heart not that notion of celebrating for they finally got rid of me. 

In any way, this week promises angina and dehydration. I better be prepared

few more touches and...

... winter seems warmer from where I stand.

more fog

To look at it differently, FOG is not short of character at all.

So pretty.

I bet, I'm alone on this one.

like today's FOG

Right....

Where do I start. I am extremely knackered that I find stringing sentences quite tedious. The past days of hard-work are finally catching up that all I want to do now is snooze and be woken up only when it's meal time. That's right, MEAL TIME.

We've been out quite a few times today - Lowestoft (Gelo's place, to collect his stuff) to supermarket to Home Depot to another home depot to gas station then home. I vacuumed this morning when I woke up and de-cluttered most stuff already. And oh, the Christmas Tree's up. We have signed the legalities re: this place and patted the dogs that came with the owners. I'm now convinced that raising a dog is no ordinary matter. I will stick to rearing a pair of terrapins or perhaps, a goldfish.

Rushing back and forth to destinations, we passed through the thick translucence of the fog. This fog clearly defines where I'm heading, literally and figuratively. It's meant to alarm and alert me but I guess life's like that. There are days we can see beyond the hills and forever but there are days we just see a few metres ahead of us. The latter is not to deter us from moving on and ahead. It simply reminds us to slow down and enjoy life more in a pace slower than economics.

few hours later....

... and I'm ready to invite my London friends to visit.

abode

moving is stressful y'know

The theme for today is GOOD-BYE.