warmer

Few weeks left.

It's definitely warmer now this winter.

gimme a P

winter

I intend to make my blogs short in the coming months. I bet my very few followers just sighed heavily out of relief. The reason behind the selfie post is the gloating that I feel like sharing. I lost a few kilos in the last few weeks (although it's nothing to Gelo's horrifying weight loss of nearly a stone). It's true that your confidence grows when you feel good about yourself.

Let's see how long I'd be able to keep it... now that Christmas temptations are around the corner.

I miss London

... except the hundreds of people invading my personal space in public.

countless Saturday nights in

... and I aint complaining.

the good thing about not getting a surprise

if you want a cross section of the world....

... visit London.

Checks and balances

Learn.

Learn.

Learn.

cliche

We've had dark times and moments.

The fact is, it's not going to stop. With the universe establishing balance, joy is nothing without the equal measures of pain. In the interim, it's either we learn from it or not. If we do learn, time element is variable; in seconds or years or decades.

The good thing is... the older we get, we tend to be more reflective.

stark simplicity

as long as it's warm inside...

 

a Fil-Brit celebration

Manny Pacquiao and Lewis Hamilton reign supreme.

ok

The film moved me emotionally a few times. It even made me squeeze Gelo's hand out of sheer suspense and woke him up in the process. Then there were times when I was looking for empathy to move myself to tears but when I was welling up, I realised the stupidity of the next few frames. It kept on aborting the pinnacle of emotional discharge for me.

Still, I enjoyed the film. I just hate this Part 1 and Part 2 business. I am happy to sit for another three hours just to see how this film culminates. In this regard, the instalment process disrupts continuity of connection. It's like pleasuring yourself in the privacy of your boudoir then someone walks in on you few seconds before the big bang.

I see the point of ending the first part with Peter wrestling the bed whilst Katnis painfully watches him with great emotional pain. It's alluding to something integral to the next chapter. However, they could have at least maintained the momentum and gave a big bang to complete a first rippling effect to the emotional crisis of the audience.

... but money is a grander issue for the producers.

an affair most people don't understand

My love affair with Fall and Winter is for real.

It is an amalgamation of life and death and everything in-between the two. If it snows in the next few days (or preferably, Christmas day), then my holiday season is complete.

there's a reason for the way we live

Careless.
Carefree.
Careful.

more food

talent

I am not the best singer. I know how to carry a tune, that's all. I think I am charismatic enough to entertain a soul (might as well say that - I'm tired of some friends telling me I'm not good that it's best to shut up - you have to love yourself most times too). Then my attempt at writing gets the flak from credible friends so the criticism lacks the bite due to sense of truth ( I guess). Then I try other artistic avenues and get some more swipe with cites of imperfections (true, no one's perfect and I know that).

These days, I just shrug my shoulders. I hope they're happy putting people down.

passion

I was belittled when I was growing up about singing.

I still don't dream big about being the best by honing this craft. I think of this as self-expression. It's more than enough. When I entertain other people in the process, then that's an added bonus.

wish

I'm bored of dog food.

Why can't I have a madeira cake all day, my dear human?

I don't know how to feel: ecstatic or super honoured

I don't know what's disconcerting... his display of boobs chest or the seemingly painful tattooed right pectorals. I joked about his inked chest and said, "If ever we part ways, you either get that wiped or find another Ryan".

He laughed.

I think having my name permanently etched on his chest is a fearless commitment.

new routine

For the first time, Barney slept under the duvet, not on top of it.

Small things, small gestures matter.

pressure ....

He (Gelo) asked me to write something and came up with a short verse. Now,  he's etched with something of mine.

groomed

Yes ... pampered but he repays that with sweetness and love.

I betta read the dress code policy.

It's Friday and I wore this to work.

My role in the organisation is HR-Corporate/Clinical. I upped the ante by wearing faded skinny jeans teamed up with my fast becoming favourite, THE orange shoes. I am asking for a telling off really.

I will keep you posted.

boring...

Who says a teacher has to wear the tired and uninspired monotone of an outfit all the time? I don't know how my colleagues perceive me when I enter the office wearing burnt red trousers or my favourite purple chinos. I do get the attention but that's never the intention. Although I am beginning to love suits, I still feel ambivalent about wearing formal trousers and shirts minus the jacket. I feel naked without the tie.

I wore my orange shoes the other day and I'm beginning to wonder what they really think of me. I must say,  it is already odd being the ONLY FILIPINO in the main Trust headquarters and it feels strange to be the only one wearing "colours" in the business environment most of the time. In fact, I have very young colleagues and they look corporate.

One day, my Boss' Boss will just whisper something... like ...."We have dressing standards here Ryan". Being different is actually good. It only becomes bad when you insist of being one and yet, you feel dreadful about it.

have you....

... had your flu vaccine?

Don't be a sissy and get that jab.
You're not just protecting yourself but the most vulnerable others too.

I thought, I'd make myself useful in my own little way.

fog and death

Leaves are a few wind blows away from hitting the ground. Countryside is beautiful this time of the year. Despite the drastic change of temperature to freezing, it allays the anxiety of sorrow by lifting spirits with the display of vibrant colours. The fog complicates the panorama. Life's contrast is added with the dramatic interlude of the haziness caused by fog. Yet, the amalgam of elements provides a backdrop for ambivalence and ... mettle.

I have friends who used to work in London for years and left for Singapore on a two year contract. They have been given the opportunity to start their new lives here in Norwich, away from London. They easily found jobs and now live in a much better place than the box they used to occupy for years in the metropolis. But, if we don't see the potential, we then perceive nothing but the idyllic existence in the countryside. A change of scenery is not for everybody.

I had that feeling too, nearly three years ago when I left London for Norwich. But I am happy where I am now. Good thing, I crossed the fog and the dying trees.

Is it too late to dream of singing musical tunes at WestEnd?

... with Renee Montemayor (one of the previous KIMs of Miss Saigon).

just like us

Years ago ...

Staff:
Hello Ryan. I'm so sorry but I have to take a day off today. My dog died of pancreatitis (sounding distraught).

Me:
Oh. Okay. I will look into shift cover. Don't worry about it. I hope everything's OK. Please let me know if you need an extension.

If you are in the Philippines, I don't think this is how the conversation's going to unfold. Yes, we love our pets back home but we don't love them as much as the westerners do. I know someone who has a pet cat undergoing haemodialysis. A dog owner takes her pet to Cambridge for radiation therapy. Some of my friends with dogs get truly upset when they're pets become unwell. I was waiting for Barney's appointment at the vet's early this year when I walked into a bawling lady whose dog needed a minor operation.

It is true that having  a pet is not just for Christmas. A dog must have a minimum 2 walks a day and a health insurance is a MUST (if you don't want bill surprises when they get ill).  Barney today had his regular haircut and spa (every 6 weeks). In case you didn't know yet, he is a spoiled pooch. But he is not just a dog, he is our darling baby.

I see it now. I'd take a day off if I need to.. just for Barney.

when mind's knackered

... I rely on a picture to tell a story.

merry christmas

This is my early greeting to some I could potentially miss to greet on the day. I have reasons:
- international time zones and
-  future uncertainty (we will never know if the world still exists by then).

In any case, may you have a wonderful holiday.

Cheers.

I'm not my son's father

Barney likes the feel of satin.

It's good to know that we're different.

steadfast

So... they made a gaping hole into his chest and plucked out an affliction that rots. He was given an antibiotic but turned beet-red with raised rashes after a day. He was rushed to his least favourite place on earth and was given an adrenaline. My mother was petrified with my father's summoned nonchalance.

Father is courage personified.

I don't go to church

... but I don't think it makes me a bad person.

I have my own system of beliefs.