I'm not an expert on "defense mechanism" but am I sublimating?
Friday, 31 December 2010
greeting New Year
Inspiringly, I decided to cross that path between 2010 and 2011 by scrubbing, vacuuming, washing and sanitising the flat. You know what they say about cleanliness right?
I'm not an expert on "defense mechanism" but am I sublimating?
I'm not an expert on "defense mechanism" but am I sublimating?
Thursday, 30 December 2010
beautiful windows
Cartier always deliver during the holidays...
but... Mulberry (aside from being my favourite brand) surprised me with this window display.
but... Mulberry (aside from being my favourite brand) surprised me with this window display.
betterment
This is addiction: Blogging.
To while away the time, I decided to read all entries this December. Running out of topics to fuel sensible conversation with Amber (co-PDN) in the office, I decided to scrutinise the thematic dealings of my posts this month. Through research audit (not logically but in light retrospect), this month seems perfect for two reasons: This month has the most entries and secondly, random selection of both the subject to study and diversity of entries makes it seemingly ideal to dissect.
As I said, blogging is an addiction. It has occupied nearly most of my waking hours. It has stripped me down to the dermis (occasionally to the muscle but not bones -reservations still apply) for worldly exposure. It has pictured my inner thoughts to the devouring public allowing them to gain enough ammunition to get back at me in the most inopportune time and my most vulnerable moment. This is delusion to the hilt but it always comes with sharing oneself to others with thoughtless and even with thoughtful considerations.
This year, my musings focused on the following:
To while away the time, I decided to read all entries this December. Running out of topics to fuel sensible conversation with Amber (co-PDN) in the office, I decided to scrutinise the thematic dealings of my posts this month. Through research audit (not logically but in light retrospect), this month seems perfect for two reasons: This month has the most entries and secondly, random selection of both the subject to study and diversity of entries makes it seemingly ideal to dissect.
As I said, blogging is an addiction. It has occupied nearly most of my waking hours. It has stripped me down to the dermis (occasionally to the muscle but not bones -reservations still apply) for worldly exposure. It has pictured my inner thoughts to the devouring public allowing them to gain enough ammunition to get back at me in the most inopportune time and my most vulnerable moment. This is delusion to the hilt but it always comes with sharing oneself to others with thoughtless and even with thoughtful considerations.
This year, my musings focused on the following:
- work stuff - 11.2%
- winter - 6%
- singing - 14.4%
- men - 21%
- tennis - 7.4%
- self-indulgence - 24%
- others - 16%
I seriously need to diversify my posts. Consistency isn't my gameplan.
10 minute part deux
I came out of the tube and saw this.
Another distraction: a Bieber and Selena wannabe...
(YOUNG LOVERS .. )
Another distraction: a Bieber and Selena wannabe...
(YOUNG LOVERS .. )
good news
This is a good tactical move. They want people to go out and extend merry-making on New Year's eve. This also means helping the economy by urging (forcing) people to part ways with their money.
Personally, anything free is welcomed with open arms.
Personally, anything free is welcomed with open arms.
10 minute distraction
There are a lot of distractions inside the tube today. As usual, I am late for work. I start at 9 but I'm just navigating the small carriage scouring for a viable seat at 9:40. It takes a good 10 minutes to get to work and because of that notion, I tend to overshoot expectations and calculations. I always end up late. Do you ever get dilemma as well?
I simply digress like a child lured by balloons and lollipops.
Back to distractions.
Finding a seat at this time and this moment of the festive season is not difficult. The hoodie-man next to my right has this massive headphone blasting some rap music, matching the beat with his head nodding. Strange, but not really. Across is the woman whose tights must have seen the afterlife and resuscitated back to living against its will. It reminds me of the Tarmac of snowy Heathrow and plane tracks stretch from take off to fly point. To my left is the woman who I think is her companion dissing a boyfriend (or perhaps an ex); claiming she broke his heart over Christmas dinner after getting a 1-carat diamond earring for present. Harsh!
To my far right are tourists. They must be from Thailand. Six of them chit-chat about something, pointing to something and giggling about something. They must be having a ball. I only recognise one word: snow. Another Oriental guy is sitting next to the group wearing a surgical mask concealing most of his face but his shifty eyes. Does he know that his mask offers very little protection from H1N1? I bet he's Japanese. To my far left is a 6(?) year old kid asking his father... "Dad, why is my blackberry not working here?". A Blackberry and a child - not a good combo. They satisfy curiousity too easily...too readily.
For a good ten minutes, I was distracted from thinking... from ruminating. My own worries drowned by such plethora of events/people I call sociological therapy. Saying goodbye to them mentally as I approach London Bridge is reality times 50.
I simply digress like a child lured by balloons and lollipops.
Back to distractions.
Finding a seat at this time and this moment of the festive season is not difficult. The hoodie-man next to my right has this massive headphone blasting some rap music, matching the beat with his head nodding. Strange, but not really. Across is the woman whose tights must have seen the afterlife and resuscitated back to living against its will. It reminds me of the Tarmac of snowy Heathrow and plane tracks stretch from take off to fly point. To my left is the woman who I think is her companion dissing a boyfriend (or perhaps an ex); claiming she broke his heart over Christmas dinner after getting a 1-carat diamond earring for present. Harsh!
To my far right are tourists. They must be from Thailand. Six of them chit-chat about something, pointing to something and giggling about something. They must be having a ball. I only recognise one word: snow. Another Oriental guy is sitting next to the group wearing a surgical mask concealing most of his face but his shifty eyes. Does he know that his mask offers very little protection from H1N1? I bet he's Japanese. To my far left is a 6(?) year old kid asking his father... "Dad, why is my blackberry not working here?". A Blackberry and a child - not a good combo. They satisfy curiousity too easily...too readily.
For a good ten minutes, I was distracted from thinking... from ruminating. My own worries drowned by such plethora of events/people I call sociological therapy. Saying goodbye to them mentally as I approach London Bridge is reality times 50.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
holiday's cusp
While most of the populace are still having their break (perhaps holidaying to a warmer place or skiing their cares away), I'm back working just like those who missed out on the "lottery" of Christmas holiday scheme. I call it that, for getting the holiday time off is like finding a pound coin in a less touristy London fountain. People don't bother to make wishes if it's not the Trevi or Trafalgar where a dramatic coin toss is far more cinematic.
So yea, I am bored in the office and my desk still looks like a mess despite my effort of clearing the 2010 (and some 2009) documents. We're here as we were told to be around just in case....
- H1N1 takes over London
- an earthquake ravages the metropolis
- a Tsunami drowns East Anglia and the South
- a terrorist finds a way to detonate a bomb around Oxford street
- or any other major disasters to hit England
- (NOT WISHING FOR ANY OF IT!!!!!)
But clearly, that is not what we're expected to do. We are here in case some Managers failed to cover the holiday season rota and the poor Band 5 nurses are left to struggle this wonderful season of fun and joy.
Let's see what happens.
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
word of the day - Helter-skelter
I came across this word (helter isn't a word but skelter is) years ago when a journalist used this to describe the manner how survivors of a Night Club fire escaped the burning inferno. I have this habit of "finding out the meaning of words I don't know right there and then", so I whipped my trusted pocket dictionary out of my bag and looked for helter-skelter.
Unfortunately, I had to wait more than a decade to hear and see this word come to life yet again. One V V V important person reminded me of this and my recent trip to "Winter Wonderland" jogged memory a wee bit. Sincerely, I wasn't disappointed how I got to relive its nuance and bearing.
hel·ter-skel·ter
[hel-ter-skel-ter] Show IPA
–adverb
1.
in headlong and disorderly haste: The children ran helter-skelter all over the house.
2.
in a haphazard manner; without regard for order: Clothes were scattered helter-skelter about the room.
–adjective
3.
carelessly hurried; confused: They ran in a mad, helter-skelter fashion for the exits.
4.
disorderly; haphazard: Books and papers were scattered on the desk in a helter-skelter manner.
–noun
5.
tumultuous disorder; confusion.
Unfortunately, I had to wait more than a decade to hear and see this word come to life yet again. One V V V important person reminded me of this and my recent trip to "Winter Wonderland" jogged memory a wee bit. Sincerely, I wasn't disappointed how I got to relive its nuance and bearing.
hel·ter-skel·ter
[hel-ter-skel-ter] Show IPA
–adverb
1.
in headlong and disorderly haste: The children ran helter-skelter all over the house.
2.
in a haphazard manner; without regard for order: Clothes were scattered helter-skelter about the room.
–adjective
3.
carelessly hurried; confused: They ran in a mad, helter-skelter fashion for the exits.
4.
disorderly; haphazard: Books and papers were scattered on the desk in a helter-skelter manner.
–noun
5.
tumultuous disorder; confusion.
due to popular demand
Due to popular demand, I am bringing back GYTIS (as requested by some of you).
Before he flew back to Lithuania to be with his family this Christmas, we met up for coffee and dinner in Soho. There was no shortage of vanity talks, contrived and measured profanity, and amalgamation of shallow and intellectual jabber.
I recommend him to any depressed soul. All it takes to tame him is a Starbuck's coffee and oh... an honest to goodness compliment.
Right Gytis?
Before he flew back to Lithuania to be with his family this Christmas, we met up for coffee and dinner in Soho. There was no shortage of vanity talks, contrived and measured profanity, and amalgamation of shallow and intellectual jabber.
I recommend him to any depressed soul. All it takes to tame him is a Starbuck's coffee and oh... an honest to goodness compliment.
Right Gytis?
challenging serenity
I slept alone in the flat for the first time last night. I kept the bedroom light on all throughout the night (as usual).
Having a massive bed (which is now even more pronounced in HIS absence), I guarded myself with 2 pillows each on my side. I slept without interruptions except for bladder relief at 4 am. Only then I decided that sleeping with the light on was preposterous and Earth un-friendly. I woke up today with nothing but the sound of my voice reverberating across the bedroom and the tiny hallway as I sneezed and coughed last night's concerns.
Putting the kettle to a boil and grabbing milk inside the fridge made me realise how sparse and dire my needs are for a good trip to the supermarket. Domestic stuff wasn't my main domain for the past years (not that I enslaved my ex doing food shopping and vacuuming the flat) but in that fleeting moment, I realised how shopping means not necessarily clothes and accessories but FOOD.
Again, living alone comes with 100% responsibility (see previous post). As if you need telling that.
But any tips NAM?
Having a massive bed (which is now even more pronounced in HIS absence), I guarded myself with 2 pillows each on my side. I slept without interruptions except for bladder relief at 4 am. Only then I decided that sleeping with the light on was preposterous and Earth un-friendly. I woke up today with nothing but the sound of my voice reverberating across the bedroom and the tiny hallway as I sneezed and coughed last night's concerns.
Putting the kettle to a boil and grabbing milk inside the fridge made me realise how sparse and dire my needs are for a good trip to the supermarket. Domestic stuff wasn't my main domain for the past years (not that I enslaved my ex doing food shopping and vacuuming the flat) but in that fleeting moment, I realised how shopping means not necessarily clothes and accessories but FOOD.
Again, living alone comes with 100% responsibility (see previous post). As if you need telling that.
But any tips NAM?
serene
The living room looks serene.
Living on my own comes with 100% responsibility. Let's see how long I could keep this sedate and stoical existence in my life.
Living on my own comes with 100% responsibility. Let's see how long I could keep this sedate and stoical existence in my life.
Monday, 27 December 2010
Foilin' hat trick
There is one thing I look forward to next year: The Christmas eve, 2011.
It is simply because I don't want a hat trick of mishaps (perhaps not the right word but it feels like it). Last Christmas Eve of 2009, I left work at 9 pm after two cardiac arrests. This year, I finished at 730 pm, unduly called in to do TPE (therapeutic plasma exchange) after reaching home at 5. The reason? The allocated staff dealing with the on-call business went home early and the bank nurse, after clotting the first circuit had to go home and cook Christmas dinner. No one else was available on-site but the person who trained the staff on the use of prisma machines for plasmapheresis. Hence, my involvement.
But I guarantee heads will roll next week for management incompetencies. For now, I'd let the holiday spirits soak in and give the culprits the taste of their best Christmas dinner.
I'm still compassionate somehow.
a sensible present
Thank you for this belated xmas present.
Note to baldies out there: One's head is a serious business. No mucking about PERIOD.
Note to baldies out there: One's head is a serious business. No mucking about PERIOD.
so long...
Strange.... Very very strange indeed.
Bo single-handedly managed half of my life in the past 3 1/2 (?) years. Living on my own for the first time again feels like learning how to crawl... to walk. The universe suddenly expands to the great beyond.
Bo single-handedly managed half of my life in the past 3 1/2 (?) years. Living on my own for the first time again feels like learning how to crawl... to walk. The universe suddenly expands to the great beyond.
Sunday, 26 December 2010
SALE season is upon us
You know it is time for the massive SALE OF THE YEAR when even MEN queue for the toilet.... not to mention the pretty obvious signs of panic and multitude of restless bodies eager to get hold of soooo last year's items.
ambivalence
The woman sitting in front of me is wearing a FOX around her neck.
I don't know if I have to channel PETA or NAOMI at this time.
I don't know if I have to channel PETA or NAOMI at this time.
what to do with tonnes of leftover beef?
First, cut the massive joint to pieces... to cubes.
Slather pan with veggie oil and let the chopped onion sizzle.
Drop the pieces of meat into the mix.
Add salt, pinch of sugar, pepper and other special spices.
Then pray for 20 minutes.
If you are lazy, boil peeled potatoes in full fat milk and parmesan cheese. Add salt and pepper and yes, a pinch of sugar.
This time, prayer isn't necessary. It is just simple, basic chemistry.
Slather pan with veggie oil and let the chopped onion sizzle.
Drop the pieces of meat into the mix.
Add salt, pinch of sugar, pepper and other special spices.
Then pray for 20 minutes.
If you are lazy, boil peeled potatoes in full fat milk and parmesan cheese. Add salt and pepper and yes, a pinch of sugar.
This time, prayer isn't necessary. It is just simple, basic chemistry.
Saturday, 25 December 2010
highness
So His Highness of HoD liked Christmas dinner. His palate is not just as critical as his thoughts. It's highly discerning, detracting.
I am glad.
So, it's high time to return the compliment. The cake he made below is fabooooosh (if that's a word!)!
I am glad.
So, it's high time to return the compliment. The cake he made below is fabooooosh (if that's a word!)!
gifts
Work colleagues are predictable. They give you these:
Then, you have the not-work colleagues who give you these:
And then, you get this from someone special:
OH THERE'S NOTHING. You ask them and they'd say, "LOVE DAHLIN". That's all there is and nothing more... for there's nothing better and bigger than that.
In a way, I'm convinced.
Then, you have the not-work colleagues who give you these:
And then, you get this from someone special:
OH THERE'S NOTHING. You ask them and they'd say, "LOVE DAHLIN". That's all there is and nothing more... for there's nothing better and bigger than that.
In a way, I'm convinced.
Friday, 24 December 2010
manananggal Santa
Telly viewing is shite.
My neighbour is deaf or testing his newly bought loud speakers or just being festive.
I opened the gifts even before midnight.
I cooked minced meat with cubed potatoes and peas.
This happens not only when I'm depressed but also when I'm bored.
My neighbour is deaf or testing his newly bought loud speakers or just being festive.
I opened the gifts even before midnight.
I cooked minced meat with cubed potatoes and peas.
This happens not only when I'm depressed but also when I'm bored.
over
As always, the build up to Christmas is a frantic plethora of ups and downs. Then Christmas day comes along and it's all downhill from there.
Christmas is overrated.
Christmas is overrated.
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
silliness allowed
Tomfoolery WELCOME!
I'm sure this is not the last you'll hear from me these words: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
PS - There was a joke earlier about the "Ho! Ho! Ho!" embroidered on the Santa hat. I'm sure you already know what I mean, right?
I'm sure this is not the last you'll hear from me these words: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
PS - There was a joke earlier about the "Ho! Ho! Ho!" embroidered on the Santa hat. I'm sure you already know what I mean, right?
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
come-then
This receipt is memorable.
This resto in Camden (Viet-Anh Cafe) is quite popular to locals. If you know your Vietnamese dishes well, then you won't have difficulty ordering a decent meal from this joint as they have a menu the size of a hard bound best-selling children's book but having the content of A Tale of Two Cities. They have hundreds of items to choose from, it'd rock your world.
... and that's just quarter the fun. The served food is totally scrumptious.
I was emptying my old wallet to replace it with my unused V. Westwood when I came across this receipt. It made me smile. I realised that longing lives in shallow waters. Low tide reminds you that they're always there.
test 1..2..3..
OK.
I messed with the "advanced editing"section of the blogspot and I am now giving up. Let this mish-mash of colours and somewhat pretentious artistry be my temporary refuge from boredom. I'm pretty sure I will find another time to fiddle with the wonderful elements of blog design, hoping to find that perfect chrome to represent and capture my ever-changing whims and desires.
pressies
No wonder the younger generation is getting more and more predisposed to obesity, diabetes, heart problems and eventually, renal diseases.
Have a look!
I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don't I?
Have a look!
I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don't I?
xmas talks
All I hear is shopping... and turkeys and gifts and dinner ... and dinner and more dinner. For someone who is keeping an eye on his diet, this doesn't bode well with the psyche rooted under self control. But that is not the problem.
I bought 3 winter coats in the past weeks and everytime I paid each of the item, I said, "This is a nice Christmas present for myself and that's it". Obviously, it's a lie but not at that moment when I was mentally calculating the pros and cons of overspending. I was ingenuously conscious of balancing expenditures against the savings.
Christmas is commercial (as if I didn't know that 30 years ago). By tomorrow (come payday), I will be compelled to part ways with my end of the month remuneration for this lovely coat or pair of shoes or cashmere jumper and be laden with regrets later. I look at losing self control when I was young as sign of immaturity. Losing it now means stupidity and regression.
I PROMISE TO JUST LOOK AT THE MERCHANDISE AND STRICTLY DO WINDOW SHOPPING IN ITS PRIMARY DEFINITION.
Let's see where it ends.
I bought 3 winter coats in the past weeks and everytime I paid each of the item, I said, "This is a nice Christmas present for myself and that's it". Obviously, it's a lie but not at that moment when I was mentally calculating the pros and cons of overspending. I was ingenuously conscious of balancing expenditures against the savings.
Christmas is commercial (as if I didn't know that 30 years ago). By tomorrow (come payday), I will be compelled to part ways with my end of the month remuneration for this lovely coat or pair of shoes or cashmere jumper and be laden with regrets later. I look at losing self control when I was young as sign of immaturity. Losing it now means stupidity and regression.
I PROMISE TO JUST LOOK AT THE MERCHANDISE AND STRICTLY DO WINDOW SHOPPING IN ITS PRIMARY DEFINITION.
Let's see where it ends.
Monday, 20 December 2010
another xmas wish list
I open the pages of "Shortlist" magazine then I see coats/jackets and I get all tingly.
This is a red PARKA from TOPMAN and Harrods is selling this item exclusively for 120 sterling. Being a limited edition (and its irrefutable beauty), I don't see any reason why this baby doesn't get snatched up in seconds. Damn those rich, spoiled brats who obviously have the moolah to make boxing day more exciting.
... while I wallow in overwhelming pensive cogitation about the year that will soon pass me by.
This is a red PARKA from TOPMAN and Harrods is selling this item exclusively for 120 sterling. Being a limited edition (and its irrefutable beauty), I don't see any reason why this baby doesn't get snatched up in seconds. Damn those rich, spoiled brats who obviously have the moolah to make boxing day more exciting.
... while I wallow in overwhelming pensive cogitation about the year that will soon pass me by.
fugly part deux
I thought I'd never come across another ugly Christmas tree during this holiday season. I thought this mess of a tree (from Shaftesbury Avenue) is going to be the last one but this beauty here below poses a great challenge in our "lack of imagination and artistry" stake.
But still, I guess Christmas is beyond the aesthetics of Christmas Tree or the decorations hanging up your living room. It is about the selfless idea of gift-giving and ... opening presents on boxing day.
GOD, I'm shallow.
Well, it is still spreading LOVE that matters right? Right???
But still, I guess Christmas is beyond the aesthetics of Christmas Tree or the decorations hanging up your living room. It is about the selfless idea of gift-giving and ... opening presents on boxing day.
GOD, I'm shallow.
Well, it is still spreading LOVE that matters right? Right???
small joys of Christmas
I have never been big on sending cards and getting colleagues small presents to remind them that Christmas is finally here. But I certainly appreciate the thought and the effort that some people put in by sending a card (again thanks to GROUTE family)... or getting pressie at the last minute (thanks to Amber).
Is it because I am a man wherein I lack the conscious and subconscious awareness of gift-giving or I'm just thick and calloused of all the merriment during this time of the year. The latter seems to be an indication of the first notion but still ... this is something I have to improve on.
But motivation is not something you just switch on like that twinkling Christmas Tree, is it?
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